My day in pictures

For sometime I have been fighting this urge to take useless pictures at randomest places . Today, I accepted defeat and double tapped the home button on my iPhone to activate the shitty camera. Now before I bombard this entry with photos let me set some things straight – if you’re hoping for beautiful professional pictures of snow, mountains, and half naked whores you are going to be disappointed.

I woke up with a low intensity headache but this was enough to convince me to stay in. (Yaay) My mother was informed about the tragic development. She stormed into the room but fikar not I was ready counter her with my supreme acting skills. She, impressed by my performance, approved my decision and ordered me to proceed with utmost caution. I followed her down into the kitchen where I devoured 2 pills of Advil. Cool eh? Yeah I be taking drugs like them gangstas!

The effects of the drug slowly started to kick in; I was beginning to feel sleepy. I came up with a master plan to counter balance this phenomenon – Exercise! Exercise should help me stay fresh and awake. I could have gone to the basement and used the treadmill but no I am smarter than that. I have cleverly programmed my mind to alter my body condition without the need for physical movement. That’s not true I am just lazy. So I hit the couch and watch TV instead.

Superheroes like me face new challenges every day. It’s gives purpose to our life. My next challenge was  to stop the fluid leakage from my nose before I run out of tissues. Seriously man every time my body is subjected to even slightest illness my nose goes berserk. 24 hour water supply. If the world bank were to pay for used tissue; I would be the richest person on this planet.

Amidst my struggle to engineer a nasal cavity blockage device I turn on my laptop. I must patrol the streets of the interweb and look for signs of malicious spammers, stalkers to eliminate them. Facebook check, twitter check, forums check, wordpress check. The online world is safe; I could finally relax.

At the moment I am trying to study for a quiz which is due by tomorrow evening.

I am kudipunjaban and my nose needs a plumber.

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Fridays = Boring

People love Fridays. They look forward to this day for it indicates the end of the 5 day marathon and the arrival of the 48 hours of peace and freedom.

I were amongst the “We love Friday” clan. I vaguely remember the time when I’d happily welcome the Friday sunshine into my house and lay out a rough plan for the epically crazy weekend ahead.

However, as of today I unsubscribe to the Friday joy. Lately, I have noticed a worrying pattern in my life. Friday is consistently the most uninteresting and suffocating day of the week. Every morning I drive to the university where my professors, like vampires, suck out every ounce of energy. I then slowly maneuver back to my home where I rejuvenate myself with a brief nap. When I wake up I feel fresh and ready to take on the world, win the world cup, save humanity. This stream of youthful energy needs an outlet. Therefore, I make some phone calls to my friends with intentions to “chill maro yaar.” (Me is teh feel like fob today) I am usually good at this  but as I said Fridays have not been on good terms with me lately. So, the phone calls lead to nothing; My friends appear to be either always buried under responsibilities (HUH?) or are already too shitfaced to think straight.

I then turn to the ultimate source of entertainment – The Television. People say, “Television died like 3 years ago.” Well..they are right. This leaves me with only one option – TEH INTERWEB. I start off by visiting online forums. 99% of the time there’s nothing there that could hold my attention for more than a microsecond. Therefore, I move on to Youtube. This helps but not for long. My brain demands something more profound and engaging…umm … like MSN. MSN conversations are fun yo

“Person 1: Hey

Person 2: Hello

Person 1: How is it going?

Person 1: you there?”

or

“Strange person: Hey long time eh

Me: Who are you?

Person: Oh so you don’t remember me? lol lol

Me: No

Person: We talked for the first time in September 2005.  We used to talk all night long about menstruation and

Me: {BLOCK)

—

I spend the rest of the night periodically switching between Facebook, twitter, youtube before calling it a day.

It’s not like I don’t have a life. I have just transformed from a “Friday-Saturday” person into a “Saturday-Sunday” person.

Warning: Saturday-Sunday chill maro (again?) could result in a Monday morning hangover. This could negatively impact your grades and lead to life threatening situations  if you have desi parents. Proceed with caution)

I am kudipunjaban and Fridays, for me, are boring.

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Farmville on facebook

Farmville
We all know what it is and how it works.

It’s a virtual farm hosted online for you to manage. You plant, plow, harvest, sell crops. Exciting right? Not really. Firstly, this is a message to all the farm ville fanatics out there – WE (the sane ones) don’t care about your minuscule farm ville accomplishments. I have no interest in finding out what level you have reached, or how much money you made by selling your harvest or how many eggs your pregnant hen  just popped out or how much you have milking that green plastic cow. Seriously, I don’t need to read your each farm ville activity.

“XXX”  just earned the ‘Lord Of The Plow’ blue ribbon in Farm Ville!

“XXX” chickens are mighty hungry!

SHUT UP. I want your chickens to die. It gives me pleasure.

This game requires time and patience. Chances are if you have a life you lack both. You are required to plant crops and do whatever the heck you do with them and then wait for them to grow up. Seriously? What do these online crops think they are? They’re not real; just grow up already. Even when they do grow up, there is a window of time between which you must harvest your plantation or it withers out. I don’t have enough free time to log in every 3 hours and check on how my strawberries are coming along. Then sell them. All this for the invaluable shiny gold coins that open the doors of opportunities and success and allow your face book kids to enjoy all the luxuries in life. (I am sure they’re going to make an app where 2 people can make babies on face book and raise them up. You’re farm ville money will determine which face book school they go to.)

The simple game has become so popular that they sell you stuff for real money. Its a small indication that some people are spending  actual cash to unlock perks for their farms. People if you want a farm, and are really that rich, go buy a small piece of land. No, not online, you nerd. Step out of your house ( I know its challenging but try it) and buy a real piece of land. If not, shut up and utilize this time to do something productive. Don’t act all thug every time your hen lays an egg or crop grows by an inch. Face book users flaunt this stuff on their walls like this is the biggest accomplishment of their lives. Like they have it all figured out, and are on route to wall street with their fancy gold coins.

I am Kudi_Punjaban and today I made myself proud by blocking farm ville once and for all.

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Locked out

Dear blog,

Today I was locked out of my own house. When I got home, nobody was there to open the door and I didn’t have the key. I sat there for 30 mins in cold weather. Rather than looking for a way to break in I instinctively updated my face book status for others to get a kick out of this situation.

I am kudi_punjaban. This is my wonderful life.

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Morning adventures

I have this strange routine that I follow each morning. When I get out of bed the first thing I do is pick up my iPhone to check my face book. I follow this by opening the blinds and staring at the world for good 5 minutes. I don’t know why I do the latter; without this routine I feel like I am missing something. It’s like I mentally prepare myself to tackle the obstacles the day might have for me; or something like that. This routine is usually very uninteresting. All I see is snow, neighbors leaving for work, cars skidding and sliding on the street – you know the usual stuff.

However, this morning I came across something very “new.” I was taking in the view when suddenly a man on skis entered the frame. Yes you heard me; I asked myself is this real? That guy actually skiing on the street? Na, this has to be a dream. He skied down the street and waved at my neighbor. The “WTF” look on my neighbor’s face confirmed the realness and weirdness of this situation. For the next few minutes I sat there, trying to figure out what had really happened.

Also, I regret I couldn’t capture this moment on film.
I am KudiPunjaban and I..oh whatever man..that dude was really skiing on the street. Share similar stories if you have any.

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Colors on Facebook

An old meme – post your bra color – circulated around face book yesterday. Soon the popular social networking site was full of color and confusion. Why were all the girls posting these colors as their status message? Some curious citizens of the internet turned to God of Information – Google – for answers while others just plain ignored these messages. In the middle of all this, I was wondering how was this supporting Breast Cancer? I know many others had the exact same thought in their mind.

It didn’t take me long to find my answer. I realized I had already fallen prey to it. I was thinking about Breast Cancer, researching about it online. This was the exact purpose of the slew of single world color statuses. Discussions about the topic and efficiency of this new way to spread awareness were actively taking place in all web based gossip spots. Yahoo Answers, twitter, face book, Google – they had all surrender to the cause, and inadvertently we had become a part of this noble cause.

Eventually, my one word status was up for I felt the profound message these single world messages carried.

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